


If It Looks Like a Duck...

by ladydragon76



Series: Hunters [1]
Category: Transformers (Bay Movies), Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-17
Updated: 2012-11-17
Packaged: 2017-11-18 20:39:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/565048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydragon76/pseuds/ladydragon76
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Summary:</b> Getting caught watching two ‘hotties’ kissing earns the humans The Talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If It Looks Like a Duck...

**Author's Note:**

> **‘Verse:** Post 2007 Movie/G1  
>  **Series:** Hunters  
>  **Rating:** R  
>  **Pairing:** Razor/Whip  
>  **Warning:** Spark sex  
>  **Notes:** Jalaperilo once said to me that she equates pink to energon blood so ‘femmes’ are like a warrior class, walking around in the color of blood. That REALLY stuck with me. I already have a head!canon for ‘Hunters’ being a tribal warrior caste thanks to helping develop the idea with a friend ages ago for their fic, and it was easy (not to mention a lot of fun with the Twin) to take that bare notion, develop it differently while blending it with what Jalaperilo put forth, and come up with this.
> 
> So this is meta, and an exercise in trying to make it work for myself in fic form. Very stream of consciousness. To be clear, Razor and Whip are NOT actually female robots anymore than the usual suspects are male. I chose to go with OCs because the canon femmes are very clearly MEANT to be female and I wanted to step outside of that to beings that could more easily be fluid with their perceived gender. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> All Hail, the amazing LB82 for the art and character design. We decided on the Lotus Exige because it’s such a little car, and our Hunter/’femmes’ are rather small mechs.

“Girl?” Whip asked, looking down at the little human.

“Yeah. You know. Girl, woman, female. Femme fatale,” he said in clarification, little lines of hair above his optics waggling playfully. “We didn’t know that Cybertronians had females, though duh, ya know? Just kinda got wowed by the whole ‘oh my God, alien robots’, and didn’t really think about it.”

Whip’s helm tilted, the sunlight catching on the sharp tips and in the ornate etchings that decorated it, and connected to the World Wide Web. “Femme fatale.”

Whip liked this. The characters that the search came up with were lithe, attractive for being human. They possessed a high level of proficiency with many weapons, and had a graceful, if a bit showy, style of hand to hand combat. “Femme,” Whip said again. “Yes. I do like that.”

With a smile directed at the vaguely confused looking human, Whip went off to find his mate. Razor might not see the humor of it, but at least if they were going to be confused with an organic’s birthing gender, it was in such an honorable way.

Femme fatale, indeed. Whip snickered a little. Humans were entertaining little things.

~ | ~

“Really?” Ironhide asked from behind them, causing Lennox and Bobby to jump like the guilty school boys they were behaving as.

Lennox, beet red, offered a shrug. “We shouldn’t have, but it’s kinda tough to just walk away from two hotties making out.” A pause. “Ya know, even if they are robotic hotties, and we’re squishy scum that should know a helluva lot better than to spy on a couple of girls kissing.”

Bobby kept his teeth together and let Lennox handle all the foot into the mouth stuff. By Ironhide’s expression, Lennox was doing a bang-up job of it.

“A couple girls kissing,” Ironhide repeated.

Alarms went off in Bobby’s head.

“Uh… Ladies. Women?” Lennox was digging his grave way too fast, and Bobby took a subtle step to the side. “Femmes. I know they prefer the term femmes. Sorry.”

They were eyeballed for a long moment, then Ironhide tipped his helm in the direction of the base. “Come on.” His optics flicked to, then quickly away from the two femmes getting pretty hot and heavy on the beach. “We’ll talk where they won’t come up for air and realize we’re here.”

Bobby chose to marvel at how silently Ironhide could move instead of focusing on the fact that they were -all three of them- very literally sneaking away. Once they were a safe distance from the femmes, Ironhide transformed, let Bobby and Lennox get into his cab, then drove them to-

Aw shit. Ratchet’s building. Oh sweet Jesus! Were they about to get a birds and bees talk from the aliens?

Lennox noticed too. “Uh, Hide, why the medbay?”

Ironhide chuckled. “Not leavin’ Ratch outta this conversation. He’d kill me.”

In short order Bobby found himself trudging up the steps to park his ass at parade rest on the Cybertronian-sized table Ratchet and Ironhide sat themselves beside.

“Tell him what ya said ta me,” Ironhide directed.

Lennox cleared his throat. “We know we shouldn’t have been watching two of your people making out, but it’s weirdly hot and really fascinating.” Ratchet’s eyes brightened in that way the mechs’ do when they’re surprised or suddenly _really_ intrigued by something.

“No, no. The words ya used with me.”

Bobby sighed, and spoke up for the first time since they got caught. “We shouldna been watchin’ the hotties make out. Ain’t in anyway proper or acceptable ta watch anyone when they obviously wanted their time together ta be private. We just thought like, ‘Whoa! Hot alien chicks are kissin’!’ and did what all men do when two girls kiss. We got stupid as hell, man.”

Ratchet blinked. Then blinked again.

Then threw his head back to laugh so hard Bobby thought he might fry a relay or something.

“Oh frag me! Oh holy Primus on a farking pogostick!” Ratchet hooted and cackled and snorted, leaned on Ironhide’s shoulder, and all but wept he was laughing so damn hard. He dragged back enough control to look at the humans, and asked, “Can I _please_ be there when you tell them you think they’re _girls_?” Then he promptly went back to dying from a severe case of the giggles.

“Uh… Well, we don’t mean to be disrespectful with the ‘girl’ thing. We know the proper term is femmes.” Lennox winced, clearly recognizing they hadn’t been all that respectful to start with, hence being in this situation.

Ratchet laughed harder, and Ironhide heaved a sigh while pushing the medic off him. “You gonna do this?” He _was_ smiling a little though, so the growl wasn’t all that intimidating.

Ratchet snickered, wiping honest to God tears off his face, then giggled a little more while nodding. “Yeah. Yes. I just… Oh Primus! Can you imagine their faces? What in the Pit could make you think Razor and Whip were females?”

Lennox and Bobby shared a look, and Bobby gave Lennox the ‘you tell ‘em’ gesture, then crossed his arms over his chest.

Lennox frowned, fidgeted, then started talking. “Well. They’re pink for one. I mean, sure it’s dark pink in Razor’s case, and more a kinda purple for Whip, but… Kinda girly, ya know?”

Ratchet’s helm tipped. “Color? I have seen the men on this base walking about in ridiculous ‘Hawaiian’ shirts. Many of them have pinks and purples as well. Not to mention Razor and Whip are from a warrior race and Cybertronian blood is pink before it strikes the oxygen-rich atmosphere here on Earth.”

“Blood?” Bobby asked.

“Mark of honor,” Ironhide said. “Better the warrior, the more blood-like color they are permitted to wear.”

“Well… that’s pretty cool actually, but they’re little too. Less armor, and slim waists, and…” Lennox shrugged. “They look like women. Even their voices are less masculine.”

“ _Less_ masculine,” Ratchet repeated.

“Kinda musical,” Bobby said, then locked his jaw again.

“That!” Lennox agreed. “They’re pink, they’re curvy, they look and sound more delicate-“

Ratchet and Ironhide both burst out laughing again.

“They look more delicate,” Lennox repeated, louder to be heard over them, “and even Optimus treats them with deference. Like a gentleman would treat a lady. _Plus_ Hensley talked to Whip once, and she said herself that she liked the word ‘femme’ for her and Razor.”

Ironhide looked at Ratchet, who was once again a snorting, hiccupping puddle of laughter, and rolled his optics. “Prime treats ‘em with deference ‘cause they’re Hunters, and he likes his aft unshredded.”

“Dude! No! No, man, I am not saying that females can’t fight. Part of what I love about Sarah is that she’s badass and shoots better than-“

Ironhide’s hand came up, and Lennox stopped again. “They’re _Hunters_. They’re a… Help me here, Ratch.”

Ratchet grinned. “They’re a tribal people from the Manganese Mountain area of Cybertron. They don’t believe in the Matrix, or Prime as a religious leader, nor do they have any loyalty to the Autobots beyond what they, as individuals, have decided to give.”

Bobby snapped his fingers. “They _don’t_ have the insignia!”

“Nope,” Ironhide said. “There’re Hunters on both sides of the war, and Hunters that tore up any mech that came into their territories, regardless of faction.”

“ _You_ can ask them about their culture,” Ratchet said. “I’m not risking screwing up a detail and getting my spark ripped out for it. They’re _not_ females though. Not anymore than I’m a male. Our race doesn’t have gender, not like the organics of this planet.”

“How do you get more of you then?” Bobby asked, then wanted to kick his own ass.

“Spark sharing or the Allspark.”

“So… no men, no women, but making love?” Lennox asked, looking very much like he didn’t want to say those words either.

Ratchet’s smirk took on a harder edge. “I’d be really disappointed to learn you weren’t as… open-minded as I believed.”

That took a second to sink in for Bobby, but Lennox was already shaking his head. “Hell no! I don’t care. Not in that sense. It’s just. Hadn’t given it any thought.” Lennox spread his hands out in something of a placating gesture while Bobby nodded vigorously in agreement.

“Feels good, do it, man. Life’s too short.”

“Do you still think they’re,” a twist of Ratchet’s lips, “hotties?”

Bobby thought about that a minute, letting Lennox go ahead and agree fast. “Yeah,” he said. “They’re all sleek lines and nice curves. I’m a straight guy, and I find that feminine and pretty. I’m wrong, and logically I get it. But they’re still pretty.”

“That,” Lennox agreed, pointing at Bobby.

“So if we made out that wouldn’t be as hot?”

Bobby had no idea if Ratchet was joking, and wasn’t about to stick around and find out. “Ask one of the women,” he called over his shoulder as he reached the stairs.

~ | ~

It was a few days after that conversation with Ratchet and Ironhide that Bobby found himself in the company of Whip and Razor. Someone -probably Ironhide- thought it’d be great for the mechs to work on their hand to hand.

“So you’re not really femmes, huh?” he asked, looking up at a face he still found more delicate and feminine than that of the other mechs.

Whip smiled easily, and shook her- his- Shit. Helm shaking ‘no’.

“No. I do like the concept. Your Hensley said ‘femme fatale’. It is fitting.” Whip offered another smile. “Razor has not my sense of humor, but she has accepted that it was a compliment in its core.”

Bobby watched the dark pink mech as… she spun her blades around, waiting for Optimus to finish his conversation on the far side of the sparring arena. “Ratchet mentioned that Hunters are somehow different from the Autobots we’ve known. You both look really different.”

Whip nodded, the rich purple-red of her optics locked on Razor. Bobby knew that look. He’d seen Lennox look at his wife’s picture that way. It made him smile. Made the aliens more ‘human’ if they could love each other.

“We are different,” Whip said, and tipped her helm at Razor. “My mate, and my… king. Chieftain?” A graceful shrug of pink-purple shoulders. “Leader,” she decided on. “She is the best fighter in our clan, and defeated the old leader barely into her maturity.”

Bobby snickered at the dreamy smile.

“I was too young, but pursued Razor anyway. I knew my mate, and no other would do.” Whip glanced down, and chuckled. “Your people did not know this, I think. That we mate. Love.”

“Nope.” Bobby leaned to the side, half-sitting on the cement barricade. “Y’all’ve caused one helluva stir. Lots of men dig the idea of two pretty girls bein’ together.”

Razor hissed, and all humor rushed out of Bobby to be replaced with ice.

“Do not mind Razor,” Whip said. “As before, she does not have my sense of humor.”

“Naw, it’s cool, and I apologize.” Bobby looked up, though it wasn’t that far with Whip sitting. She and Razor were only about thirteen feet tall. Saved the neck a bit. “We’re dogs, and we shouldn’t be. We don’t go ‘round gigglin’ about say… Bumblebee and Jolt.”

Whip’s laugh rang out. “I do not think that would occur.”

Bobby shrugged, feeling a little heat in his face. “But ya get my meaning. We were bein’ asses about it, and we shouldna been.”

Whip smiled, then looked up as Razor approached. Bobby straightened, standing up. He understood, instinctively as well, that Razor expected more formal treatment.

“I could allow you to fight to reclaim your honor,” Razor said, pink eyes, a shade lighter than her plating boring down into Bobby.

“Uh… I…” Shit, he’d die is what he’d do. He’d seen Razor move. He _knew_ that Prime was the only mech on the planet that would agree to spar with her. Even Ironhide had _bowed_ and declined.

“He does not know you tease,” Whip said. “I have only just finished saying how you have no sense of humor.”

Razor smiled, the expression sharper on her than Whip. “And so I make you a liar. Come fight for your honor and place in my berth.”

A low round of ‘oooooo~’ sounded from those close enough to have been listening in, and Whip laughed as she gracefully rose.

The catcalls started up as Whip stepped close - _real_ close- to Razor, a long, tapered claw trailing down the pink arm plating along a transformation seam. Bobby was pretty sure half the men there were about to combust. Screw them not being ‘girls’, they were still hot.

Whatever Whip said was in Cybertronian, but it made Sideswipe choke, and Razor’s smile deepen to something that verged on unholy.

“My apologies,” Prime said, striding into the loose sparring ring. He broke the spell, and Razor turned away.

Whip sat back down beside Bobby, and leaned over him a little. “Please avoid the place named Cannon Point tonight.”

Bobby felt his mind blank a bit at the implication, and Sideswipe snickered. “I’ll be in my bunk,” Bobby said before realizing how that could be taken.

Whip laughed, then everyone’s attention went to Prime and Razor as they began an intricate, deadly dance.

~ | ~

“You indulge them too much,” Razor said, fingers tracking along armor gaps.

“I like them,” Whip replied, humming softly as his spark pulsed.

A huff of annoyance. “As I am aware.”

“It is harmless, and difficult to deny the similarities.”

Razor’s lips pressed together. “I am not as vain as you. I care not for being considered… pretty.”

Whip laughed, and rolled over, pushing Razor down to his back in the sand. With one finger he traced the beautiful scrolled etchings on his mate’s helm. “No. Spirits forbid one mistake you for vain or pretty.”

“No wonder you like them. You are as insolent.”

Whip chuckled, and leaned in to kiss away the frown. _Leave it, beloved. They are a young and foolish species. At this stage, mere acceptance of our presence on their planet is a miracle. Take the small victory._

Razor huffed, but his hands came up to frame Whip’s face, tipping their helms to deepen the kiss. _I won’t have them watching us._

Whip purred, pressing his chest tighter to his mate’s. “No. I will not share you.” A quick scan confirmed they were indeed alone, and Whip let his plating locks click audibly as they disengaged.

Razor grinned, then easily flipped them over, settling comfortably over his mate. “Open to me,” he whispered, talon marking the path of the nearly invisible seam that divided the plates.

Spark light lit the palm fronds, and Razor’s smile deepened as he leaned down to taste the whirling energy. “My mate,” he whispered, shivering as pleasure echoed over the bond. _Pretty mate,_ he teased, then set to wringing every pleasure sound he could from Whip.

**Author's Note:**

> [Hunters by LB82](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7263232)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Hunters](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7263232) by [LB82](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LB82/pseuds/LB82)




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